I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
