i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Randomize
