HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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