You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
