i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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