I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
