Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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