I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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