Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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