I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
