I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize