Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
