it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
we're making bets on your personal life
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
