She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
