How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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