Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Randomize
