Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize