just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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