My balls are so social today.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
You took a bar mat shot.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
