Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
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