I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
