Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
