i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
sarcasm needs its own font
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Randomize
