I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
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I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
