what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
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