Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
