You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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