i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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