butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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