Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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