It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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