Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
