she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Randomize
