When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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