This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize