"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
