His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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