you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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