You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
