got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
