I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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