how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
