jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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