We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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