On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Randomize