I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize
