Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
