So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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