i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
