is wine microwaveable?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
My vagina just clenched in fear
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
