i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
