If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
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