Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
