You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
