well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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