my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize