Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
We just shotgunned beers for America
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Randomize
