Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
