Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
