Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
