one two three fourrrrnication!
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
