idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
