kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
