I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
