SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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