Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
