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I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
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