Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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