I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
You can't special order awesome
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
