maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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