office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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