Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
