My hair reeks of homosexuality.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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